Bern

Bern So I was drinking with the Butchers of Helix when a couple of the new recruits stumbled in telling tales of some caves to the north full of treasure (and also goblins and kobolds). Sounded worth exploring so I grabbed Ahnjela and Ygnas (not literally) and we talked out our plan. They didn’t want to pay for any cannon fodder. I don’t get along with people so good. I did buy two war dogs, complete with their armor.

Bern When I saw that thing with too many mouths behind the secret door, there was only one thing to do. I braced myself to resist it’s gurgling and slammed the door shut, then took a good look around me. Everyone else was nuts, even the jelly skellies. I did the only thing that made sense. I ran to the middle door, the one the skellies didn’t care about, opened it and ran in, closing the door behind me.

Bern Huh. Grunty’s back. Last I saw him, he disappeared while I was looking into one o them crystals in the grotto for just a moment. (Still a silly name for a silly place). I searched for tracks and eventually headed back to town without seeing any sign of him, then went back with Stria. And then today he shows up wanting to try again. Well, ok. Did pretty well last time, with Stria, but dammed if I am going to pay to outfit another mercenary.

Stria I spent the off season profitably poisoning farmers who had mistreated their wives. Bern said he had a lead to possible profit, so I tagged along with him after we decided there was no emergency requiring us to look into acquaintances missing behind a mysterious door in the library. We hired a naive fighter named Bran for the trip. He got off on the wrong foot with me by insisting on 3 gold a day as his fee, just because he didn’t like the look of us.

#Bern Met a new feller today. Short and stocky, grunted a lot. Asked his name, he grunted. Asked how he got ’ere, he grunted. Ask where he wanted to go, he grunted. Asked if he wanted ya pay me ta guide him into the forest and find treasure and kill monsters. You guessed it, he grunted, so off we went. First stop was Jiles. Padawan of Ygg’s Stick he said. Knows about the outlaw band in the forest.

#Bern So we decided to stop sniffing around doors and start opening them. The ornate snake door led to a staircase leading down. That’s a nope, at least for now. Maybe when we’re done here. The room without a door led to a small hallway filled with clay snake statues. They all had real metal swords with visible rust, meaning likely they animate if disturbed or somehow activated. We carefully slipped past without touching the statues and checked the far end; nothing noticeable.

Bern I came to Eastdale looking for guide work, leading people through the wilderness. Don’t really like people much. Animals are much simpler, I know where I stand out in the wilds. Difference between a dog and a wolf and a cat you can see and smell and taste. Humans, well, some of us will lie to ya and cheat ya and kill ya and we all look the same.

Rumor has it that near on a score of years past, a woman mated with a werewolf in the woods west of Eastdale, and the man known as Bern o’ the Wild is the result of their mad, frenzied coupling. His friends, if he had any, would say it was the source of his freakish strength. His enemies say it’s why no one likes him. Bern says it’s mutual and stays in the woods most of the time.